(picture I took while jogging)

For an undetermined amount of time I deactivated my Facebook. If I didn't risk losing all of my precious pictures on Facebook by deleting it, I probably would have done that. I know I can transfer them to a new site but...that...is a lot of work. I realize that in my venture of giving up Facebook this came exactly around the time of lent. But I would love to express to you how much I am not giving up Facebook for lent. I'm giving up Facebook for my heart. For my soul. And for my relationship with the Lord. In a moment where I lost something dear to me Facebook became poisonous. It became a living version of Matthew 23:27 where Facebook was like a whitewashed tomb, "beautiful on the outside but on the inside full of dead men's bones and everything unclean." 

What is awesome about having your own blog is that you can be as dramatic as you want. Though that was dramatic it's exactly how I came to view Facebook. Instead of starting my mornings by giving myself over to the Lord I was checking Facebook. I wanted somehow to feel important enough still. I wanted a glimpse that I still existed. I didn't. I didn't and Facebook made sure I knew how much I did not exist anymore. It broke my heart more then it already was and I finally allowed myself to see how life is not worth this. Life is worth beauty. Life is worth truth. Life is worth actually living. 

So bon voyage Facebook and hello Twitter! (SimplyJaxJax) I laugh at myself as I write this because from one social media site to the next. But I'm a writer. I love writing posts and reading others stories. What I don't love seeing is self advertising and a 5 second window of truth masked by a lifetime of lies. For some reason, even if its just me, Twitter is a launching pad to other people in byte size pieces. And I love people.

I'm also not perfect I just happen to be deeply in love with someone who is. And if thats the case then my ultimate goal is not only about improving myself but most importantly improving how I love others around me. I'll also be honest...I'm not great at it. I fail every day at loving people in the way they deserve to be loved; not in the way I see it but in the way that God does. And trust me when I say those two visions are very different from each other. 

I have a very hard time letting go of things that no longer have a place in my life. What I love about my relationship with the Lord is how much he advocates for me when my knuckles have become white from how tight my grasp is. Gently he pries open my hands and lets whatever I was holding onto fall away from me. Without God I would become a hoarder of dead branches. 

I'm entering into a chapter where God is seriously pruning my life. While running the other day I could not get the image out of my head of me trying to superglue a dead branch God had pruned back onto my tree like body. This caused me to cry...for hours. But God did not promise that pruning would be painless...just necessary. I serve a God that loves me enough to hold each tear I cry in his hand...how lucky am I? 

So, as I learned at the Justice Conference last night that, "True humility is not about being dishonest about your strengths, its about being honest about your weaknesses," I move forward with my life humbly proclaiming, "I am weak!"