Obedience by George Mcdonald. Photograph by Jaclynn Staub

One night as I was sitting with a friend I was feeling extremely doubtful about myself and the things that I was choosing to live for. In a moment of trying to give out the best advice he said, "Don't doubt yourself just trust in the Lord." My response was this,

"I do not doubt myself because of God. In fact I feel like the best version of myself when I am surrounded by the wonders of God. And because of that it makes me doubt everything else."

There is a poem by George Mcdonald titled Obedience. Some one shared this poem with me as I was contemplating the idea of moving to China for a year to teach English. Though I never ended up moving to China I fell in love with the poem and its words helped guide me to where I am now. In the same way I believe these words also helped my older brother Ricky. He has made a brave decision to leave a life of working for the movie industry in Hollywood to move into a homeless shelter in Philadelphia. When Ricky was going back and forth on this decision I sent him George Mcdonalds poem.

It is a constant reminder that the crown may not always be found in the comfort of our worldly possessions. Then again we were not all born to be the Mother Teresa's of this world either. But even Mother Teresa believed that every day is our missions field...no matter what you're doing. She doubted the solidarity of every thing around her except the presence of God. This presence and realness alone is the only thing to lean on...not our own understanding. 

So on that note, I am very proud of you Ricky Staub. Maybe we were not all born for a life of homelessness and poverty but we were all born for a life of commitment and love to our Lord and Savior. Some times I hear that stories we read in the Bible do not happen anymore. My response to this is usually, Oh Really?